God and Forgive

An example of my own limiting belief and trama to overcome is the trigger I feel when I see the word God. One of the abuses I survived is tied heavily into the Chatholic church.

I saw a post with a long expression about Jesus also triggering. It brings up a gut reaction of betrayal, wounded heart, and a little disgust.

So I asked my self is it true? Is the Christian God responsible for the crimes of his followers? If it true how does that feel? Internally it still feels true, and it feels awful. So what if it were not true, how would I feel? I imagine I would feel at peace, feel able to accept this kind of message with the love it is intended to invoke.

I am not totally there yet, or I wouldn't have been triggered. However, as I take a step back from my internal belief I see the possibility of feeling differently.

So I open my heart to forgive the Christian God of my feelings, but also with baby steps the ones who created the hurt in the first place. Not for them, but for my own heart. If you read all this, Thank you. Goddess may you help me to heal these wounds. So mote it be.