I have been through a dark night of the soul. As this was a deeply painful and personal experience I do not feel comfortable discussing the details. However I would like to discuss the results. My original preception of coaching has changed due to education and life experience. My original vision has also changed. I am no longer focused on the idea that I would be able to coach someone out of depression. That is therapy and not coaching. I am not a therapist and not qualified to coach in that way. I have reviewed my earlier blog and it is clear my preception of my life's mission was coming from a limiting belief and wound. When I was about 13 yrs old I was highly sensitive and empathic. I made a well meaning promise that was not in my best interest. I asked the Christian God to give me the pain of others I was willing to take it so that they would not feel it anymore. The reality that I created from this was very unhealthy for me, and to my dispare it did not take anyone's pain away least of all me. I see now that what I was asking for was for my pain to be taken away. I believed that in self sacrifice I would become worthy of the love and comfort I truly needed. I fully and completely release this limiting belief. My understanding of it now is that it is not my place to take the pain of others or the valuable lessons they may learn from their own pain and healing journeys.
I have begun my own healing journey through a true place of love and not fear. I have been exploring connection to my body. My wounded soul had absolutely rejected my body. However through yoga, dance, somatic movement, absolute truth and honesty through journalling, meditation, gratitude and prayer I have begun to heal myself. I am not sure where all of this will lead or if coaching itself will be a part of that. I have a new vision of a wellness business focused on health of the mind, body and spirit. Sharing ways for individuals to explore themselves and discover their own truths and paths to wellness. Ultimately it is through the authentic self that a person creates their own path. As a guide I only help you illuminate your own truths. I am currently exploring yoga and wish to someday teach it. I am also exploring spirituality, dance, somatic movement, nutrition, intuition, habits and behaviors, self-care, shamanic practices, philosophies and the mind body connection and further coaching eduction. What all this will look like as far as a business is honestly still in progress. My current focus is on my own healing journey and what I can learn from it. I am finding my way to health physically, emotionally and spiritually. It may be some time before I resume my business plans and they may be reshaped by my journey. I have decided to leave my original blog entries attached to this site as it was a part of my journey and authenticly who I was. Someone may find value in them even if they miss the mark on what coaching is actually about. May you discover yourself and your own journey in life to becoming the healthiest and happiest version of you. Blessed be.
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